A TOP Scots crime writer has launched an four-letter tirade against burglars who ransacked her house.
Val McDermid revealed that her home in Stockport, Greater Manchester, was targeted by thieves at the weekend.
She tweeted: “If the gobs****s who burgled my house and stole my car at the weekend are on Twitter – I hope 2016 is as sh***y as you deserve.”
The break-in, which took place while she is across the Atlantic on a world tour, saw the burglars get away with her son’s X-box as well as her black Audi A6.
The 60-year-old, born in Kirkcaldy, was spurred on by her 30,000 followers after breaking the news.
After worried fans expressed concerns for her safety, she said: “I’m fine, thanks. I’m actually on tour in the US so I got the ‘Darling, why isn’t the car in the drive?’ call.”
She went on to explain: “No living creature harmed, though son will be gutted about the X-box…
“Luckily we seem to have relatively neat burglars. One broken window, nothing trashed, just messy.
“It’s crap all round. What’s worst for me is that I’m away, partner and kid having to deal with it.”
Despite her home being ransacked, McDermid was still able to make her fans smile.
She vowed: “Between us, we’ll reduce them to whimpering heaps of misery”, before adding that if the thieves are caught, she plans to have the audio of one of her novels – The Mermaids Singing – piped into their prison cells.
She later declared: “To hell with the burglars, I’m off to a Gala Tea with US librarians.”
Her followers rallied round to send her support, and many shared a picture of her stolen car in the hope that it is found.
First Minister Nicola Sturgeon, who had been on a visit to a school in Fife earlier in the day, was one of the first to send her sympathies.
She wrote: “Sorry to hear this, hope everyone ok X”.
JK Rowling also said: “Really hope you’re ok. It’s happened to me twice and it’s horrible.”
Follower James Oswald wrote: “Sorry to hear that, Val. Don’t fancy their chances when they get caught.”
Linda Semple added: “That’s awful…at least you can set a serial killer on them (virtually) in next book.”
Another fan wrote: “Aw hen that’s hellish. I hope their next s***e’s a hedgehog.”
McDermid is one of the biggest names in crime writing, and is best known for her Tony Hill and Carol Jordan series, which was adapted for television drama Wire in the Blood.
This is not the first time she has been the victim of crime – during a book signing at Sunderland University in 2012 she had ink thrown at her.
Widow Sandra Botham held a grudge against the writer after the publication of A Suitable Job for a Woman in 1994, claiming she had got her facts wrong in a chapter of the book which she said caused upset to her family.
Disguised in a blonde wig, Botham threw ink at her before running off. She was given a restraining order in court as a result.