Dead squirrel in former Woolies gets Twitter account


A DEAD squirrel that has been lying in a disused Edinburgh shop for several weeks has become an internet sensation, and even has its own Twitter account.

The deceased rodent has been lying in its resting place since early October, and a passerby has placed a sign in the window, saying “Tweet me @DeidSquirrel”.

The @DeidSquirrel account has been sending a series of hilarious commentaries on news and popular culture, from the perspective of the squirrel.

Members of the public have also been tweeting their support for the dead animal, who is on the floor of a former Woolworths in the Corstorphine area of the city.

On its Twitter account, the squirrel has a bio stating: “Hi. I’m a dead squirrel in a Corstorphine shop window. I’ve been on public display for days so I’ve got a public profile. I’m an ex squirrel in an ex Woolies.”

The account started tweeting on October 3, saying: “If I was red, would you care more? #NotACutePanda #Edinburgh”.

The sign and the squirrel
The sign and the squirrel

It then followed up that evening by saying: “At least I was deid before Ed Balls was on Strictly. It’s a mercy life is short.”

It then said: “I’m not moving until Damien Hirst gets here. It’s like the Turner Prize has come to Corstorphine. What next, a big gold bum?”

On October 5 it quipped: “We were promised a #Waitrose. All we’ve got is a pet cemetery. ”

On October 7, the day after UKIP MEP Stephen Woolf collapsed after a meeting at the European Parliament, the account wrote: “I’m not really dead, I’m just pretending to be a UKIP MEP.”

On October 8, as Scotland’s national football team laboured to a 1-1 draw with minnows Lithuania, it wrote: “I could do a job up front for Scotland #TartanArmy #Scotland #deidsquirrel”.

The office where the squirrel is based
The office where the squirrel is based

As social media interest began to rise last week, it posted: “Seriously peeps. Still here. Still dead. What do you want me to do? Dance?”

Several members of the public have sent messages to the squirrel.

@Fyinnertube said: “I told you to get that nut allergy checked out.”

@SecretEdin wrote: “I blame the Corstorphine Killer Clown.”

@k_hill1989 perhaps failed to grasp the seriousness of the animal’s condition, writing: “Get well soon.”

The shop the squirrel lies in is next to the offices of Liberal Democrat MSP, Alex Cole Hamilton.

The space is currently up for sale by building surveyors Lambert Smith Hampton.


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