As Csaba Laszlo is appointed Dundee United manager – here’s a look back at some of the Hungarian’s memorable quotes as Hearts boss



Csaba Laszlo will attempt to deliver success on the pitch at Dundee United but off it he is guaranteed to be entertaining.

Despite English being his second language, the colourful Hungarian’s press conferences as Hearts manager were never dull.

Here are a selection of memorable quotes from his 18-month stint at Tynecastle.

“I am not stupid. The fans hear Csaba Laszlo. They think ‘Who? Ah yes, he kicked the Hearts record goalscorer (John Robertson)’. Ugh…Uganda?! Where is Uganda?! Some people, if you ask about Kampala, he think ‘this is a nice food!’ but yeah, it’s true I am not stupid.”

Laszlo reckons the Hearts fans will wonder who he is after being appointed manager in summer 2008.

“Always on the television is Rangers, Celtic, Celtic, Rangers, Rangers, Celtic and other teams only get on the television one or two times, but only if they play against Celtic.”

Laszlo questions why the Old Firm dominate live television coverage.

“If you see that your team plays this s***, like we did in the first half, you can just run out of the stadium and say ‘it’s Mothers’ Day tomorrow’ and forget about the football. But we are guys, we are at Ibrox and we are still in the first half. I wanted to kill some of the people in my dressing room at half time, but then I have to go to jail and we don’t get a point! But the second half was sexy.”

After watching his side come back from two goals down to draw 2-2 at Rangers in March 2009

“We have chances with Andy Driver. Okay, I don’t like to name names, but this is the difference with the player who plays in the Champions League. He comes, he scores, he takes his Ferrari and goes and looks for nice girls. And we get in our Skodas and Citroens and go home from Falkirk with one point.”

The former Lithuania manager laments wasted chances in the April 2009 draw at Falkirk.

“When I look at some of the goals we’ve given to the opposition this season it makes me crazy. We gave away Christmas presents at that time of the year. Then against Rangers we gave them Mother’s Day gifts at Ibrox. And in this game we gave Celtic the present of a huge Easter Egg early on.”

Following the 1-1 draw with Celtic in April 2009 after conceding a first minute goal.

“You must look at what happened here at my house, before I go out and talk about the other house about the neighbour. You must look to keep my house clean and you don’t go to look for the other wives or you have a problem with your wife.”

On being criticised by then Dundee United manager Craig Levein for time-wasting.

“We have almost made violence against Eggert because we have put him in every position. You could go to jail if you did this outside football. But his performances, for me, have been fantastic.”

On Iceland cap Eggert Jonsson’s versatility

“This is a question which I think I’ve got 2,500,083 times.” 

Asked about potential new signings.