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How to Write a Catchy First Message on the Dating Site


A childlike spontaneity is what we sometimes need so badly! All things seemed simpler, and emotions were sincere. Compare how easily we became acquainted with future friends in junior school and how nervous we are now when meeting new people.

How do I attract the attention of this interesting stranger, what would be appropriate to say, how don’t seem obsessive? It’s one of the reasons why single men and women turn to online dating sites: we don’t see conversationalists and their reaction to our words. But it doesn’t mean that online people are more communicative, and your first message to a person of interest will be the beginning of true love. So, let’s figure out what to do to make the right first impression on the conversationalist and how to get a response to your message.

Couple in love
Image by Hian Oliveira on Unsplash

More isn’t better

Don’t be tempted to write to almost all single local men or women that you see at the dating site. Such an impersonal “hi” and compliment about appearance sounds like spam and shows that you act at random without any efforts (you don’t flirt with everyone in the bar, do you?). So, you need to focus on people with the same interests and goals as you, and it’s also a benefit of Internet dating: you can read the profile before starting the conversation and don’t spend time on people that are not right for you. So, use all advantages.

Search for a hint in profile

Take a deeper look at the profile of the person before writing to him or her. In doing so, you will find a common topic or something to ask about. Then, use your catch in the message (for example, “Hi! A great photo! Where did you make it? I plan vacations and want to visit this place, too!”). People like the attention, and the question in the message allows starting a conversation.

Show your sense of humor

It doesn’t mean that you need to write a stand-up scenario, but it would be great if you make your match laugh. It’s easy to do with funny images, GIFs, or small jokes. A conversationalist will see that you are not a boring person, so it would be interesting to talk with you – a good sign for online dating.

Get a conversationalist’s opinion

A person, who you like, can be an expert in something (or doing this as a hobby), so let him or her show their expertise. It inspires trust: I saw that you’re into diving, I’m a diver too. I like your equipment, can you tell me where you bought it? I want to change my kit”.

Also, you can provide something like flirty testing, where you show that you are interested in potential relationships and appreciate the view of a partner. For instance, if you are searching for local men or women, you can ask about a perfect place for a date in your city: “What would you like to do on your first date? A) Drink coffee; B) Relax at the park; C) Watch the movie”. It sounds unusual for a first message, so you will draw attention.

Keep it brief

It’s crucial to find a balance between being original and keeping it brief: you should try not to overdo with questions, jokes, and compliments. Save something for later, when you get the answer. Your goal is to get your conversationalist interested and build a pleasant and easy talk on your common ground. It’s like playing chess, you make a move and then wait, and you both enjoy the process.

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