A CONFUSED Christmas cook dialled 999 to ask Police how long does it takes to cook a turkey.
And birds of the live variety led to another daft 999 call when the caller demanded that nuisance seagulls be charged with breach of the peace.
It is the second time Scottish police have taken to Twitter to share the most ridiculous, time-wasting calls to the 999 service.
Other 999 callers demanded a lift to the shops or complained they had bought the wrong mobile top-up voucher.
Another idiot caller told 999 staff there was a fox in the garden before adding they were afraid of “dugs”.
Police Scotland, which has more than 42,000 followers on Twitter, wants to get across the message that 999 is only for genuine emergencies.
They tweeted: “We treat every 999 call with the same level of seriousness. Inappropriate calls slow the process of answering genuine ones.”
One tweet revealed: “999 caller at Xmas asked us “how long does it take to cook turkey?” < T’is the season to ask a chef! #Masterchef #999PoliceScot.”
Another said: “999 caller complained about seagulls misbehaving. Wanted them charged with breach of the peace! We’ll organise a lineup.”
Police made a mock up of the call which was received by their operators.
In the call the man said: “I see seagulls outside my house and they’ll no shut up.”
When told that police cannot help with such call he replied: “Aye they can. I want them done with breach of the peace.”
The force also tweeted: “Caller dialled 999 to report fox in their garden. Advised not a police matter & they replied “but ahm feert of DUGS!” < Eh?! #999PoliceScot.”
They added: “Person called 999 to complain the £5 of fuel they’d put in car hadn’t moved fuel gauge from zero – then said it was fraud!”
Another revealed: “Man received letter asking him to attend hospital appointment on Tues 6 Feb. Dialled 999 to tell us Tues wasn’t the 6th…”
One stated: “Lady called 999 to tell us her laptop was broken & asked for a lift to the shops for a new one – Not gonna happen! #Taxi.”
While another said: “We received 999 call asking us to phone person’s dad. They didn’t have any credit on phone < We don’t do reverse charge calls!”
One twitter user responded: “New number needed 666, for the criminally stupid.”
And Geeta added: “That’s Shocking – can’t you arrest people for stupidity?”
The tweets were issued under the hashtag #999PoliceScot
Since Police Scotland was formed in April 2013, the force said they have received 1.9m calls to the non-emergency 101 number.
In the same time 520,000 calls have been made to the emergency 999 line.
The force revealed their 999 favourites from November included a thirsty caller asking where they could buy milk.”
And one caller who complained about a fast food chain, because they were given a hamburger instead of a cheeseburger.