Video shows foul-mouthed OAP’s first driving lesson – in cemetery


HILARIOUS footage has captured the moment a Scottish pensioner takes his very first driving lesson – in a cemetery.

The video shows the 68-year-old Scotsman, known only as Dougie, taking the wheel for the first time.

Dougie, who is now retired after working a “host” of different jobs, panics as he mixes up the brake and clutch whilst driving around the graveyard in Greenock, Renfrewshire.

His 20-year-old great-niece, Lauren, can be heard laughing hysterically as she films the potty-mouthed pensioner whilst trying to explain to him how to control the car.


68-year-old Dougie had never been behind the wheel before
68-year-old Dougie had never been behind the wheel before


The two-part video shows Dougie frantically asking what pedal to press whilst holding on to the steering wheel for dear life as Lauren battles laughter to try and help him.

At points she’s forced to grab the wheel to help her nervous great-uncle avoid hitting nearby walls and potholes.

Mark Perrie, 30, is Dougie’s nephew and likens him to the character ‘Jack’ from Still Game, saying he’s “highly strung” but funny at the same time.

He said: “It was his first driving lesson on a wee road down at the local graveyard called Greenock cemetery.



“I think Lauren has said she’d take him out and obviously filmed what happened as he’s not really done it before.

“He’s quite a nervous type of guy. He’s highly strung but really funny. He reminds me of Jack from Still Game in that he’s sometimes funny when he doesn’t mean to be.

“I think he’s looking at booking a few proper lessons now to hopefully help get on the road properly.”

The filming starts with Lauren asking: “Right are you ready?”

A clearly nervous Dougie, replies to say he’s ‘ready’ before letting her know that he’s taking his foot off the clutch slowly.

The first sign of trouble arises when Lauren releases the handbrake. Dougie has his hands perfectly at the ten to two position on the steering wheel but it’s his feet that cause the problems.

He says: “I’m on the clutch. No the clutch, the brake I mean. Is that the clutch?”

As the car picks up pace, the confusion grows and an alarm starts to sound.

Lauren tells him he needs to put both the clutch and the brake down at the same time but as Dougie starts to turn his first corner he asks: “Is this the accelerator?”



Lauren laughs uncontrollably from behind the camera as the engine revs loudly and her great-uncle asks: “Where’s the f****** brake?” He thens starts laughing himself and says: “Get it tae f***”.

The next part of the video starts with a clearly-exasperated Dougie pleading for his great-niece to put it in a slow gear.

He again panics at the mention of the accelerator, asking, ‘am I near it’ twice before saying “this is great, isn’t it.”

Lauren grabs the wheel as he shouts: “Watch that f****** hole”. He then asks again which one the accelerator before asking: “Am I moving, am I moving?”

He’s told to “slow down and watch the wall” as an alarm once again starts to sound.

He eventually gets the car to jolt to a stop after asking where the brake was and says: “Oh, f****** through the roof.”