Prison dubbed “top quality hotel” by ex-cons


BRAZEN ex-cons have been giving Trip Advisor-style reviews with one boasting how a Scottish prison was similar to a “top quality hotel”.

Inmates at HM Prison Low Moss in Bishopbriggs, East Dunbartonshire have been rating their visits out of five stars on the the prisons unofficial Facebook page.

The jail, which houses up to 784 male offenders including criminals serving life sentences, currently has an average rating of 3.7 out of five stars.

Among the reviews Jamie Faulds from Clydebank, West Dunbartonshire gave the prison five stars writing: “Top quality ‘hotel’ very poor food lol.”


The reviews have gone viral online
The reviews have gone viral online


Another five star review was given by Dale Anderson from the Stirling area whose only complaint was the catering.

He said: “Great jail, sh*** food. Only thing I didn’t like was being open most of the day because it drags.”

However Anthony Stewart from Dumbarton, West Dunbartonshire had no complaints about the food writing: “Only here for the soup. In for the nourishment, not for the punishment.”

Issuing four stars Mark Lafferty from Johnstone, Renfrewshire said: “No bad jail. Got own shower which always helps. Food was crap though. Good banter as well.”

Another post was share by Diane Sanderson from Paisley, Renfrewshire who used the review page to write “Get my man oot a there”.

Her post was prompted a response by another user who said: “He is in there because of you skank.”

Out of 27 reviews listed, 17 reviewers gave the prison five stars.


Of 27 reviews listed, 17 reviewers gave the prison five stars.
Of 27 reviews listed, 17 reviewers gave the prison five stars.


Ex -convicts have also taken to HM Prison Barlinnie to praise the notorious Glasgow jail for their “fantastical showering arrangements”.

Stevie Smith wrote: “Had a lovely time there can’t wait to go back am thinking of taking the delux package this summer. The staff are great all exclusive 24 hour room service if you want it.

“The food is something you’ve never had before. Fantastical showering arrangements. The other guests are from every walk of life, most don’t believe in washing themselves, apart from that great.”

Another said: “Decor is magnolia, architecture can be described as Victorian grim.
“If you fancy an overnight stop, don’t ask for a or b hall, people there don’t tend to get out much.”

Earlier this year a prisoner went viral after posting a Trip Advisor-style review about his stay on Facebook.

Christian Willoughby uploaded pictures of his cell at Grimsby Police Station in South Humberside including the remains of his breakfast onto his public profile.

He said: “I’ve given this place four stars. It’s the all day breakfast that lets it down really. Apart from that the staff are pleasant enough.

“Had my own on-suite room and butler. Who would come with tea and newspapers.

“Room was nice, the minimalistic idea was a nice touch. It was secure and safe.

“Quadruple glazing and security door. Ideal place for winding down after a hard day. I’d definitely come back.”