THE SISTER of a future groom has been left fuming after paying for her brother’s £25,000 wedding and being snubbed from the wedding party.
The Reddit user from Northern Ireland took to an online thread on the website yesterday to ask whether she was expecting too much to be involved.
The 31-year-old said she works as a commercial airline pilot and earns £150,000 per-year so offered to pay for her 29-year-old sibling’s big day.
The pilot also stated that she has already paid for her brother’s Master degree, a deposit for his house and agreed to pay for future rounds of IVF for him and his wife.
However, she has been left raging because the soon-to-be newlyweds won’t let her be involved with helping with the wedding or be a bridesmaid.
The bride-to-be’s family are involved in all of the decision making processes while the deflated sister is left just to pay for the venue, dresses and catering.
Her future sister-in-law’s family are due to be bridesmaids and groomsmen but her brother has not extended an invitation to her to be involved in the wedding party.
Asking whether she is wrong to feel “taken advantage of”, the Reddit user wrote: “I (female 31) have a brother (male 29) and he is getting married next year.
“We lost our mum in 2012 and our dad in 2016, we are each other’s only living relatives.
“I have a good job, I earn a lot of money (£150,000 per year). My brother also has a good job, but doesn’t earn anywhere near as much (£35,000).
“We were raised to always look after each other and share.
“My partner and I are child free.
She added: “Over the years I have paid for my brother’s Masters degree, paid the down payment on his house.
“I will also be paying for my future sister-in-law (female 26) and my brother to have future rounds of IVF.
“Sister-in-law works part-time and earns about £15,000 a year, her parents are not well off.
She continues: “My brother asked if I could contribute to the cost of the wedding. I said I’d pay for it, as it is small with 100 guests, and set up a wedding account for them into which I put £25,000 which they both have access to.
“Sister-in-law’s entire family are involved as bridesmaids and groomsmen. My husband and I are guests.
“Brother and sister-in-law have been going around venues with her family, and I get emailed the costing if it’s selected.
“I told my brother I don’t mind paying for the wedding but I feel really weird that everyone else is involved in the decision and I’m just involved with paying.
“Brother has said that I’m not our parents, I can’t replace our parents and that’s why I’m not involved.
“Why can’t I just do something nice without making him feel s**t. I feel like an a**hole for causing drama, but also feel taken advantage of. Am I being the a**hole?”
The post now has over 2,300 comments and over 15,000 upvotes with the majority backing the woman on her views.
One Reddit user said: “I don’t think you should even pay for the wedding.
“If he’s behaving like this now, he’ll just cut you off and contact you again when he needs help.
“So not worth your effort and money. Not the a**hole obviously but he is a major a**hole.”
Another said: “Completely agree with this comment. Your brother sounds selfish while you fund his lovely wedding.
“Start re-evaluating here and don’t give him any more money!”
One social media user said: “Not the a**hole. You need to cut off the money. They’re using you and not even being gracious about it.”
Another said: “Wtf? Regardless of money, why are you, a sibling, being excluded from things all the other siblings are included in?
“I think you should talk to him without involving money at all.”
While one shocked reader wrote: “They what? Ok, on the Irish side of my family if you so much as have a funeral and don’t invite someone you may as well have slapped them in the face.
“Not the a**hole, you’re just a total doormat, this isn’t normal behaviour, stop allowing yourself to be a piggy bank.”