Hilarious new Tennent’s video launches “Instabam” – a ned for all purposes


TENNENT’S have launched a joke app called “Instabam” – providing tracksuited neds to help with many of life’s problems.

Starring Neil Bratchpiece of The Wee Man fame, the hilarious video includes a woman who has locked her keys inside her motor.

But after clicking into the app she is met by a “bam” who solves the problem by smashing the window in with a crowbar.

Another scene shows a man sitting inside a sports shop and not sure which shade of pure white trainers to buy.

The customer then clicks the app, prompting a specialist helper, who assists him by whipping out “Bamtone” paint colour codes listed as “whitey”, “clean smoke” and “big hoose tan”.

The clip then focusses on a phone listing all four service options – keyless access, threads advice, art installation – representing graffiti – and budget shopping which features the image of a robber.

Just like Uber, the app has it’s own locations map – but hilariously there are “No bams available” in Morningside, Edinburgh – known for being an upmarket suburb.

An assistant profile shows one of Tennent’s Instabam’s, nicknaked Radio Rental, whose skills are listed as being “mad” with a relationship status down as “shagger”.

His profiles notes the last run in with police was 14 hours ago.

The next scene then shows the apps payment options which include cash, card or “gies yer watch”.

Scots actor Martin Compston provides the voiceover throughout the clip, saying: “Life’s problems. Sometimes they just keep on coming and sometimes there’s just nothing anyone can do. But that was before…Instabam!

“If you need a problem solver or maybe some bashing guidance, Instabam’s wide network of specialists are all expertly trained to give you the help you need when you need it.

“It works like this. Select the service you require, tap in your location, se your map to locate your nearest bam.

“Bear in mind your location might not have one and make sure you check out their creds. I mean you don’t want to end up with a total rocket. Then you’ve just got to pay and we’ll dispatch a bam.

A man wearing a Burberry style cap and white tracksuit, representing an everyday ned, is then shown sitting on the swings looking at his phone being alerted, saying. “I’ve goat a joab.

His friends, all wearing caps with their hoods up over them then look on in bemusement and say “Whit?” before adding: “Awww a joab, joab.”

The voiceover continues: “So next time when you’re in need of assistance or some specialist fashion advice, use Instabam.”

The one minute spoof then features an ice cold pint glass of Tennent’s with the caption “Here to Serve”.

Sharing their clip, Tennent’s wrote: “The app you’ve all been waiting for is finally here, ladies and gents. Basically it’s Uber for bams. #HereToServe #InstaBam

It was posted just just hours before it was revealed that Uber have lost their licence to operate in London.

Since being uploaded it has already attracted more than 28,000 views and hundreds of comments praising the company for yet another great promotional video.

Marc Wiebenga wrote: “These guys will take all your sorrow away. Get the app and crack a can. Aye.”

Lyndsey Forster said: “Howlin.”

And Jackie Thomson picked a flaw in the app, writing: “If there’s one thing I can tell you about bams, it’s that they would turn up late for the job. Try again.”

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