Alt Title: How Do I Remember to Use the Right Name For A Transgender Person?
Knowing someone’s name and learning to say it correctly is a significant component of showing respect. Even if you don’t know someone well, it’s polite to learn how to express their name and even spell it properly if you’re sending an email. However, there are certain situations where someone’s name might change, and you may need to adjust to saying the new name correctly.
When your friend, family member, or even acquaintance changes their name to match their gender better, you may have difficulty remembering to use the new name. Even if you have the best intentions, you may slip up and use their previous name, referred to as their deadname.
But, while this can be stressful, there are ways to better remember their new name and respect their feelings.
This guide will go over some valuable tips on respecting a transgender or non-binary person’s new name so that you can be a better friend, family member, or co-worker.
Tip 1: Remember It’s Just About Basic Respect
Showing basic human respect and decency to everyone you meet is essential, and this applies to transgender individuals who have changed their names. Some people may choose a name that sounds similar to their given name, while others may pick something completely different.
Regardless of their choice, remember that your opinion doesn’t matter much here. What matters is that they are comfortable. Your own feelings aside, learning their name is just a decent thing to do.
Tip 2: Don’t Worry Too Much If You Mess Up At First
Often, when someone changes their name, their loved ones worry that they will mess up. This transition may be more challenging if you’ve known the person for many years already and view them by their old name. Even if you try your best, you might need to be reminded.
However, don’t let the fear of being perfect hold you back. Instead, try to move on quickly from mistakes by correcting yourself. It’s usually not necessary to apologize or make a big show of feeling bad. You want to make the person with the new name feel comfortable. Don’t beat yourself up. Over time, using their new name will become a habit.
Tip 3: Show Interest, But Don’t Ask Invasive Questions
One of the best ways to remember someone’s new name and to respect their dignity is to show interest in them as a person. This doesn’t mean you need to be fake but demonstrate that you care about them. You can ask them why they chose the name. They may have a personal connection to it.
Just remember not to ask anything invasive. For example, you can likely ask more questions to a close personal friend or family member, but try to keep things more polite when an acquaintance changes their name.
Tip 4: Ask Them How You Can Show Support
Transgender and non-binary people aren’t a monolith. They are all individuals. So, one of the best things you can do if someone you know changes their name is to ask them how you can show support. They may have suggestions on how to make things more comfortable.
Tip 5: Do The Work
Many transgender individuals and activist groups point out that it’s essential to research and do some internal work to respect transgender people. While the person you know can help you in this process, it’s also your responsibility to learn a bit about the community and show respect.
Remember, it’s okay to learn. The most important thing is to express respect and support.
