SCOTLAND has enthusiastically come to the aid of an American who bought Irn-Bru and then asked how to drink it.
The unnamed Scotophile bought a pack of six 500ml Irn-Bru bottles, stuck them in the fridge, and then posted a picture on social media asking for advice.
The American – known on Reddit as NISCBTFM – wrote: “Dear Scotland, I have acquired some of your national beverage.
“Is there anything I should know about how, where, or even when it is appropriate to drink? I don’t want to screw this up.”
One of the best replies came from Inverness based-user HyperCeol, who wrote: “Go out with your friends and get p*****, we’re talking really p***** here (the ‘Oh f****** hell I need to move city immediately so that I never see anyone I know ever again’ sort of drunk).
“When you come home after getting absolutely f***** turn your heating up really high so that you’re too warm in the night but DON’T take a glass of water to bed with you.
“When the sound of your own screaming wakes you up in the morning, and your mouth feels like a junkie’s carpet, skip off to your fridge. Serve chilled. Enjoy.”
A user called Baxter Boy then added: “Shake the fizz out of one bottle until it’s flat. Put it in the coldest part of your fridge.
“Get blackout drunk. Like, really s***-your-pants drunk. Pass out.
“12-14 hours later, wake up. Drink the flat beverage. You can neck it faster flat.”
The American replied by saying: “Neck it? Is that Scottish for “Chug”?”
To which he was told: “For what it’s worth, chug means something different in Scotland.”
When he enquired as to what it meant, he was told: “Just come to Scotland, buy a bottle of Irn Bru and tell the guy at the shop, ‘Thanks, I really need a chug’.”
More sophisticated advice came from Funkadunkalunk, who suggested: “Try it mixed with amaretto. My own concoction.
“I call it the Bruno. Everybody has the exact same reaction of “Hmm, not sure about that” before drinking it, to kicking babies out of the way for another fix after drinking it.”
Puggydug added: “Next time, you’re aiming for a glass bottle. It goes like this: Best = glass bottle. Next best = can. Third best (but still awesome) = placcy bottle.”
The American was quick to thank Scots for their help, eventually replying: “You Scots are nice. Loving all the responses.”