Super villain advertises for henchmen – to work at Careers Scotland lair

0
23

A SCOTS supervillain is recruiting henchmen for his secret lair – below a Careers Scotland office.

The evil genius, who calls himself Professor Colossus, placed an advert for minions on the free advertising website Gumtree.

The sinister crime lord helpfully included the GPS coordinates for his “secret” base.

And a quick check on Google Maps reveals the location to be the Careers Scotland office in Byres Road, Glasgow.

HENCHMEN_REQUIRED_DN01In his Gumtree ad, the head of Professor Colossus Industries describes himself as an equal opportunities employer.

He apparently doesn’t mind if you shoot like a Star Wars Stormtrooper – though the ability to aim is a plus.

And, unusually for evil henchmen, the position is considered “permanent”.

His advert, posted on November 20, for a permanent position, says applicants: “Must be prepared for long working hours, taking part in heists of all kinds, car chases, assorted guarding duties and other assorted overly elaborate plots.

“On the job training provided, including perfecting sinister laugh. This will be graded.

“We are an equal opportunities employer, eye-patches and hook hands are in fact a plus for any applicant. As are disfiguring scars and mutations. Please send photo.

HENCHMEN_REQUIRED_DN03“Ability to shoot straight a major plus but not a necessity. All denominations and ethnic groups welcome. We pride ourselves on our inclusive policies. Even though we are a Cthulhu company.

“We look forward to receiving your application. All applications are read. Please include CV of any previous satisfied super villains you have worked for.

“Non smoker preferred. Professor Colossus Industries (Glasgow)”

The GPS location given in the ad – 55.8708 degrees north and -4.29973 degrees west – corresponds perfectly to the Byres Road office of Careers Scotland.

A receptionist at the office said yesterday morning: “I’m sure that there’s no evil lair down there.

HENCHMEN_REQUIRED_DN02“But I’ll ask my team leader about it when he comes in.”

Social media users were last night dusting off their CVs.

One wrote: “Best job advert I’ve seen in ages, might be in with a chance.”

Another said: “Thanks, Great opportunity, I have just sent my CV.”

Ironically, Professor Colossus’ advert for henchmen cannot be found on Careers Scotland’s website.

He could not be contacted for comment.

HENCHMEN_REQUIRED_DN04

NO COMMENTS